no predators man.

My peanutbutter addiction has reached a critical apex.
I've consumed almost 5 pounds thus far.

A few nights ago I ate a third of a jar of peanutbutter.
I was bolnoy to my stomach the next day.

Ann made me a get-well photoshop :)
Titled "lolpuns", I rather fancy it have something to do with chiefly fortitude and tie dye pee.

but i tiegree (disgree degree diegreat the greatest!) :{p

For the next few days I was rather put off by the idea of peanutbutter, a curious sensation. Thankfully, rest assured, my love for it returned (true love persists in the absence of superficiality)

This composition is to be played in non-linear time.

Waking up this morning under the covers, I was convinced I was in the bathroom and I really had to go pee. Having been fooled like this before, I double checked. "Okay, let's try that again. I'm out in the hallway, okay, now I open the door, I'm in the bathroom, I sit down on the toilet. Am I really on the toilet? Let's see. Yes. Yes I am, I can feel it. It's okay to go pee. WAIT. WAIT!! Let me do that again just to make triple sure, because I've been fooled like this before. Wait. NO IM UNDER THE COVERS. *gets up and runs to bathroom*

I made it just in time.

music

cortexelation - wubwub

Hey
LMAO writing in my own handwriting is amazing.
I realized something about myself, and my social habits.
I'm a loner with tons of friends.
xD
And I figured out the geometry to it.
Essentially, I prefer to do tons of awesome stuff on my own, so I can blow people's minds about it later. That's what really gets the knives stabbing in my milk-plus. If I hang out too much, I miss out on my alone mind. If I lone out too much, I miss out on everyone else's minds (and what their alone minds discovered, feeding into me, and so on). Some of my best thinking is done with other people. Some of my best thinking is done on my own.
It's like, often, you have an INCREDIBLE hang out, and you need time to absorb what just happened. If you continue the hang out to a bitter end, sometimes you're just hanging on by a thread of habit, sometimes parts of memory-integration are lost. Also, if you have an INCREDIBLE alone day, you want to be around others (before your mood/memories/epiphanies pass) so other people can absorb your glow, and feed back into you.
Breaking down rigidity in either habit. The taking-for-grantedness. What it really comes down to is oscillation. Too much of one yields desire for the other. And it's like a swing: if you want to get higher, you can't just perpetually push yourself in one direction; you have to move with the pendulating momentum.
But even more ultimate is the combination (working on projects FOR other people (when I'm alone) / exploring the universe and going on adventures WITH other people.) And even MORE ultimate is feedback. (Hanging out, drawing a picture about the hang out when I'm alone, looking at the picture the next time we hang out, making a clomoid about how we looked at the picture, writing about all of it when I go home)

Tangent t/o: look at this picture. Turns out senile dementia is the result of ultra-self-referencing neurons XD. So many thought tangles one cannot even think!

College is called "uni" here.
People add "as" to the ends of things with major emphasis.
"Dude that's sweet as."
I like to think of it as a simile without comparison. (because sometimes there's just none)
They drink Mother energy drink. Energy drinks are EVERYWHERE, kiwis love their adreneline.
My flatmates are James (Psych student from Australia and the awesomest dude ever,), Gemma (kiwi, EMT, habitual smoker and insomniac, very left-brained, full of fascinating stories of people dying in front of her, reminds me of House, often sneaks us into her ambulance), and Krista (American, we tied her up in a blanket after we made a fort last night in the living room lmao). We're like a family.
Marmite is a popular condiment/spread thing made from yeast. I thought it was kind of salty+bitter at first, but within a few days I learned to like it. Actually, I'm in love with it. Actually, it's quite fascinating: I can picture my subjective feelings of how it tasted every day this week, and it gradually becoming more awesome as.
The Australian version is Vegemite, which is essentially the same thing, although James and Gemma endlessly debate the superiority of their country's yeast spread. After my jar is bugger all gone, I reckon I'll skvat a vegemite, and I'll see once and for all.

I LOVE doing the dishes.
I weaseled my way out of doing them, or even learning HOW to do them, or what it was like, my whole life.
Like, I remember there was one night in Amherst last month, when Ann and I did all the dishes (to be nice, being guests and all), and I had little idea of what I was doing ("wait, do I put this in the dishwasher after I clean it with a sponge? or is that redundant? what am I supposed to put in the dishwasher? why put anything in the dishwasher when I can just clean it. I don't understand ._.")
It's fascinating, the fact that my mom cleans everything in the whole house and cooks everything for us, it's like this fact I've never empathized with, totally ignoring all ethical implications, blind to points of view.

On Wednesday I played in a netball game. It's this New Zealand sport. Basketball raped ultimate frisbee and out came netball. It's totally a game of position and passing. I sat out the first game and a half, trying to figure out the strategy and such, but once I started playing it was a totally different story. Objective learning != subjective. I was a center. There's defence, center, and offence, and each is restricted to their half of the court (like a Venn Diagram). Interestingly, Leo was there! He was amazing. He'd pass it, and then SHOO like lightning he'd be in the like perfect position to receive the next pass, ahead in the court, and BAM basket. He was so fast he was like passing it to himself the whole time XD (lol)

I live in Ilam Village. It's essentially full of Americans. Everyone knows me. The hair predominately makes me easy to remember. But also my awesomeness and my bizarre antics.

blue brain project!
holy crap, brain simulations. >< We're going to learn so much. Like, psychopharmacological simulations? Whoa! WHOA! I want to like, drop out of school and join this project lmao. I find it fitting that science is finally realizing that reductionism only goes so far, and due to the nature of chaos, complexity, and emergent behavior, one needs to actually see an entire system running as a whole to make further progress in understanding.

Been listening to tons of audio books, while I go on walks and such. V.S. Ramachandran (neuroscience dude) is awesome as. Everytime he rolls his r's I get nerd butterflies . I listened to him talk about synesthesia. Amazing. What blew my mind was this girl who was colorblind yet in numbers had the sensation of colors she couldn't see in the real world . Martian colors she called them. Holy crap. Could I make myself see a fourth color synesthetically? Wtf is qualia? Do bats experience color in their own way? Do rhinos use color for smell? Synesthesia is innate in all of us, and he argues it's responsible for the formation of protolanguage, that certain sounds have a tendency to connect with other sensations in the brain. WHICH is totally awesome and related to Terence McKenna's DMT glossolalia.

"Create an object with your voice"

*tests*
Booogantythsths

LMAO i pictured this humped snail-snake with an awkward look on his face, dragging along this floppyslimed tail that's like 3-5 tails allslimedtogether

Mad glosso.

Many thanks go out to the butterflies, the rectangles, our Chief, Alice, the human reproductive fractal, the perpetually non-existent child, oriental rugs, virtual reality, future algorithms turning old video recordings into 3D simulations, Trixie, the christmas tree, the vacuum cleaner, the finger paint, awesome friends, thismakesense, canvas me, and the universe for being all the more colorful the longer you hold it in.

CJ? What did you do on your birthday?

"I was in a dance contest, I rode in an ambulance, and snuck into a demolition derby. XD "
Well, the nochy before, around midmoon, I moved from gathering to gathering exclaiming my birthdayness and making exquisite corpses with everyone I met. Whoa, "creature"; I've never noticed the punny linguism there.

Three dudes gave me beers as giftywifts lol. Though I didn't peet them, they're chilling out all fridgid, *saves for the right moment.*

The next morning a few of us droogs wanted to iddy about the old cliffdive (40 feet! with the nom de plume "Taylor's Mistake"), but plans fell through. Also, tsunami warning lmao from a spicy earthquake. A few of my good mates had been down by the sandlands that morning, and were crossed whether to gtfo or watch the show from up high, though the waterworks never made their appearance.

Instead a kind ptitsa sold me her ticket to Amp It Up II, this bolshy concert of big names at the amphitheatre which I would be sure to slooshy reggae overful.

I could also be sure to find free sausages. My first week here I ate SEVENTEEN. Seventeen sausages. (Some starry chelloveck from Antarctica I met at a bar-beque tried to tell me they called them "bangers" here, as was proper en zed slanguage. LOL I imagine myself most humourly misled. (Which gives me ideas -- I messel I could say anything about American culture XD))

The concert was like most concerts-- long long queues for $5 drinks and $4 meat pies. (They've really worked down to a science how to play crast pretty polly from the lewdies.)

Check out this dude's hair -->

I'll say it. Reggae is alright. I feel there's not enough innovation. It's everywhere, but what have people really done with it? And I love when reggae finds its way into other genres, but on its own? The same off-beat rhythm (kinda too slow for my taste in movement), the same chord progressions (root minor to flat7th minor in like every song). The music barely explores any territory harmonically. The same singing about Ja, the emperor, and blazing rastamen. Though you gotta love how the bass speaks underneath it all. Mmmmmmmmm mm m m mmmmmm.

Enter dubstep. My new love. Most of it kind of blows, but there's some AWESOME stuff out there. Psytrancey, glitchy, noisy, mathy, cerebral sounds. This one song I heard was heavily influenced by hardcore punk/math metal -- I swear I heard a polyrhythmic breakdown that sounded like it came directly from Meshuggah.

Then this hip-hop duo came on. Pretty cool, I was dancing my butt off on my own, until some dude rando-grabbed me and pulled me into his group of friends LMAO. At the end of their set they announced a dance contest. A couple of tipsy devotchkas battled it, one clearly smoother than the other. Then King Kapisi ordered a handful of us malchicks iddy into the circle and show off oneatatime. I thought "psh, easy, kiwis can't dance, everyone here is just drunk, this is mine".

I cartwheeled into the circle and went all turbo as I do. What a thrill ><, I could feel all the eyes on me. I could sense the strange loops, all the minds which had quieted themselves to absorb my act of chaotic movement.

Come before my turn though this Asian veck oozed a most smooth poplock, packaged very cleanly, hip thrust from the ground included. The crowd favored him most, just barely skinning a lead. (I realize now I was trying to beat him at his own game. I messel I had attempted similar poplock when I ought to have rather wiggled my own style confidencefull.)

People were coming up to me afterward telling me how awesome I was lmao.

Mmm, I returned to the flat, and the family adventured off to the auto races.
We (James, Krista, me) took a spin in the back of Gemma's ambulance lmao. (she's an EMT for St. John's; she was on duty saving racecarrs from flames and broken necks; she sneaked all of us in lmao) LMFAO ambulence, so cool. The first time we got her to sound the sirens on a sidestreet.

I laid on the stretcher and tried to imagine myself in an emergency situation, unsure of impending death or manglement, the feeling of being pulled toward the hospital like a highly magnetized particle, my consciousness (my decisions) pulling the ambulance. I imagined writing a book about all my thoughts. I imagined if I was ever in an awesome situation like that I would want Mr Sans with me.

Bog! Watching those autos anti-clockwise about, never was a more content feeling.

I imagined I was from 100 years ago, seeing this for the first time. My mind blown like "o_o wtf. What are these things. Humans made them? I've never seen anything so fast. And loud. And we just smash them together LOL" I was imagining the astoundedness of youth culture when cars first came about. I imagined totally getting my own, racing them. In the 50s I totally would've raced cars.

The terminology is kind of different from here. But there were super fast cars similar to NASCAR. And they drive anti-clockwise all the same, seats on the left side (I had to pause for a moment, left-sided drivers feel weird to me). Then there were smaller, taller, more mario-kartish cars which went regular fast. And there were actual cars (these guys went clockwise) which went slower (souped up coupes lol).

So cool, how the autos powerslide around the corners, launching hailstorms of dirtballs into the audience. I got up real close and got doubleplus pelted a few times. I imagined the track was made of peanutbutter, with balls of peanutbutter flying into my mouth, and all the children running and trying to pick up all the pieces.

And at the end there was A DEMOLITION DERBY!!!!

Like 28 cars went on the track, all painted awesome. And they all tried to destroy each other. LMFAO. The announcer was all witty and sarcastic and chuckling to himself, inciting conflict between racers, it was hilarious. By the end there were just all these dead cars with smoke rising out of them, with a few stragglers still battling it out amidst the pile of corpses. LMFAO. I was SO completely enthralled in it.

I would LOVE o_o
o_o

o_o LOVE to demoderb
(rant)

We rode home in the ambulance lmao.

Awesome birthday ><
Thank you all for your lovely emails/comments [:

wtf I've been here for 11 days.

Hullo mate, the sun's bugger all flakeskin yep? We got bungee, kayak, zorbin', trampin', climbin', drum n' bass, and it feels a lot like another part of America that was too awesome to stick around and had to go off on its own adventures. Hmm.

I bought a KG of peanutbutter and finished it in a week. A KILOGRAM. That's 50 servings. That's 7 servings a day. Daily, that's 84% of my protein, 98% of my fat, and 42% of my calorie needs. Whoa.

Monday 22/
First class day.
Developmental Psychology, my teacher reminds me of some character I'd imagine from Matilda.

History of Maori peoples -- fuck yes! Yet another indigenous group white people fucked over and colonized, though in the last few decades there's been a cultural renaissance. Check this out, they have FACIAL tattoos. How much more badass can you get?

Biology of Psychology -- Neuroscience class woo! I'm technically not enroled, but I'm awesome so I'm going to all the lectures ><

I really just want to learn everything about myself. I'm going to find more lectures to invade.

I went to the Maori center and made myself free coffee from their kitchen.

Freaking love coffee, the state-dependent-memory of being caffeinated is really great, although optimally difficult to maintain, what with tolerance and withdrawal.

I just feel really creative and focused, like more than usual (which is quite a bit). Like, if I'm in a tangle of metacognition, caffeine makes me laugh at it all -- some kind of meta-metacognitive-humor.

Caffeinated, I wrote this awesome doodle-poetry about insects, cosmic rays, animal intelligence, and strange loops in nature.

Then I went to this noise/indie show with Health (USA) and some other local bands. The first band, this indie rock group of young kids, was really friggen cool. I was surprised that people actually dance to rock here. My mind was blown because I recognized people are supposed to dance to music LMAO.

We rocked and it rocked. I crowd surfed 3 times. There were two floors with two sets of bands playing. Genius, one played while the other set up. No gaps! DUH. (ppl are so smart here). I made really good friends with this kid in plaid whose name I forget. He crowd surfed 12 times LMAO, and I kept helping him out.

At one point I was able to reach the ceiling, grabbed on to this pipe, and pulled myself up. I tried to do a backflip, but there was this cement block in the way, and I didn't want to chance it.

Before Health the plaid kid and I went downstairs. There was no band playing, except background music. So we got in the center and started dancing LMAO. We did popping, locking, liquiding, two step, skanking, jumping over each other, diverolls, him jumping into my arms and me spinning him around, and all that good stuff. Everyone was watching us. LOL. Who does that?

I freaking love Health. Their first album at least. It's this really spastic, experimental, noise rock. Mathy, kinda zorny. Their older stuff is more danceable. The kiwis weren't really into it lmao, but my jaw was hanging in awe.

The kid and I talked later for like an hour about music, singing and dancing. He LOVES streetlight manifesto, and we were singing "This'll be the Day that I die whooa-ohoh" and "I got a gun in my hand but the gun won't cock my finger's on the trigger but the trigger seems locked" and skankin' about. He loves the Doors, especially People are Strange. We sang "when you're strange... faces come out of the rain.. when you're strange.. no one remembers your name.. when you're strange.. when you're strange.. when youre..... straaange" LMAO. (I felt nicely prepared for that one XD) I totally imagined us starting a band. But I forget his name and email. Oh well.